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"Who the hell is Obama?" asked Pinocchio.A solution to the ISIS problemThe US Army announced today the formation of a new 900-man elite fighting unit, called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).These Mountain boys will be dropped off in Iraq, with plenty of cold beer, ammo, and gunships and have been given only the following facts about ISIS:1. The season opened today.2. There is no limit.3. They taste just like chicken.4. They hate beer, bacon, BBQ, pickups, nude women, rednecks, country music and Jesus.AND5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.The Pentagon expects the ISIS problem in IRAQ to be over by next Friday.Parking Tickets... My wife and I went into town and visited a shop. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.We went up to him and I said, "come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him an "a****hole."He glared at me and started writing. She watched as I took off the last of my clothes and hurriedly entered the water naked.Crystal pointed to the old, faded beach ball in the corner of the backyard. "Remember that?"I nodded, still in shock, unable to speak. We'd spent many hours throwing that ball around in our younger years. "Let's play 'Chase Crystal' again like old times!" she suggested playfully. The game had been a favourite many years earlier. "Alright, go get it then", I said cheekily, knowing she'd have to get out of the water and I'd get a better glimpse of her naked body. With that, she hoisted herself out of the pool with both hands and all I could do was stare at what an amazing ass she had. It was even better than I'd imagined! Before I knew it, Crystal had the ball and was walking back towards the pool, giving me my first full frontal view of her naked body - something I'd spent many of my adolescent years fantasizing about!Despite rearing 2 k**s, Crystal's breasts were large, but not droopy, and as my.
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